Talk:Silent Spring/@comment-26399604-20180615121753
Hi Hopeless, You probably thought I forget to drop a review, huh? ;) I didn't though. With review requests, I tend to read them several times and let the story simmer in my mind over a few days so that I can truly let my opinion surface. With that said, let's dive into it... Okay, from the get-go, I like the style of presentation -- opting to use a case file structure to relay the story. I think what really works for this story are the types of files you choose: 1) The first is a civilian refuge's investigation, which sets up this mystery, innocent and harmless, but a mystery nonetheless. In their eyes, it's a strange phenomenon that can't be explained and left inconclusive. 2) The second is a Top Secret investigation where we are slowly given more information with more alarming instances -- even odder, we are given more research conducted by the same team in the first file that was excluded for an unknown reason. While reading this story, I kept picturing some ancient creature of a bird nature -- like a lochness never truly seen-- that came out of hibernation and began feeding off the local populace. That is until I read the last line: "Air Force Advanced Bioweapons Research Detachment". I'm guessing this is some sort of weaponized experiment that got loose or was set loose; furthermore, we learn the civilian report lacks the findings of the research team due to the secrecy sworn. So what did I think? Well, the two sides definitely present a good buildup of information. It starts out slow with a strange occurrence and by the second half, you get to see how it evolves. The topic of the contest was silence and I think you chose one of the more organic ways to present this: nature. We can all recall, whether a movie or real life, how this occurs. At night (or any time really) in a forest, you can hear the birds chirping, bugs buzzing, basically, general life among nature. Yet, when a predator or anything in general comes near, they instantly go silent. That's why I think this story works well because this is something anyone can relate to and experience. I love the use of animals to apply the theme here. The next thing I liked was how you chose to present the story not only as reports, but the manner you did so. The content wasn't "over the top" and it didn't seem "childish". Not once was I pulled out of the story because the content read like an investigation someone with years of experience and of a professional organization would relay. Most cases, people tend to switch the report, whether intentional or unintentional, to a more last minute "caution" to the reader or as if they want someone to find it, even when it's the type of document that nobody would or shouldn't. The reports also presents just enough information to give the reader an idea of the creature's power and size along with its capabilities. More importantly, it was left open on its actual appearance. You didn't just sit there and describe the creature from head to toe, talk about its special abilities, and blah blah blah. There's a time and place for that, and I'm glad you didn't include that here. You trust the reader to fill in the image themselves. I think the cherry-on-the-top is the last bit you included. It explains the inconclusiveness in the first report and, more importantly, it sheds just a little more light on what the creature is and why something like it suddenly appeared. Honestly, it reminded me of something you'd see for the Resident Evil series: There's a bio-weapon outbreak in a normal environment, but as you dig deeper, you find out its originates from an organization in the shadows. Overall, I enjoyed the story from its presentation, its execution of the content, and its natural use of the contest's theme: silence. With that said, there is a possibility that some people might not like it though. The reason being of how grounded the material is and how it clings to being authentic rather than the usual "over the top" file narrative. To me, that would probably be its main flaw: it may not hold the attention of those who are more into an "engaging" narrative. However, the view people have on stories is subjective, and it's known that you cannot please everyone. Once again, I found in enjoyment in it and praise you for keeping the story more grounded. I hope this helps and good luck in the contest!!